I do the best imitation of myself.

Lots of sad and serious things in the news today, but I don't really know how to talk about all of that this point. All I can say about the Detroit incident is that I'm going to focus on the positive and be glad that the bomb didn't go off, it's a Christmas miracle, etc.

I was really tense all day, but Christmas went reasonably well. ( Sam says hi )

So: what was your favorite present, and/or what did you do today?


Oh, P.S. I put up A Very Shelfy Christmas, Part 1 yesterday.

Previously on The Secret Life of Dolls: A lot of stuff happened.

So: Christmas in Shelfia, with a bit of catch-up from the Compocalypse. ( We Two Kings of Númenor Are )


(To be continued. Part two: Serafina. Part three: Anna.)

Pleasantly busy day, it looks like. Howling winds outside, actually, but sunnyish, so that's fine.

Have to wrap presents later. I hate wrapping presents. I mean, I do an okay job of it in the end, and I like presents to be wrapped, but it usually involves me wrestling with a large, fragile sheet of shiny paper for about fifteen minutes.

Still have to take certain pictures. TLB went missing earlier this morning, but was eventually located. I would rather not discuss how the tableshelf ended up covered in maple syrup.

Lizzie's McAfee trial ran out, so I was like, the hell with this, I'm putting AVG on. So now I'm having to do all the scans and setups and whatever, but I hear it's better anyway.

(I am really glad it has a rootkit scan, because isn't that what Sony put on its CDs for a while there?)

For those of you keeping track on the Aromaleigh front, Wish is really pretty with Damask. It's a similar look to Chloe/Amelie, but more pink and less peach.

My feet are killing me, which suggests to me that I need new/better shoes, or some kind of comfort-inducing insert (although those "I'm Gellin'!" commercials make me want to slap someone). I actually want to go buy me some Chucks with my next round of book money, although I doubt those will have any kind of support. Hm. I just want some of those because I rarely get more formal than sneakers, but Chucks are an ever-so-slightly more sophisticated aesthetic than scuffed tennis shoes, you know? And you can customize them! I kind of want to make a purple plaid. I do not see any way to order a foot massage, however.

A few things of interest (or not):

The Christmas village on the back of our piano


A less artistic overhead shot

A darkened street

My festive sleeve, which I managed not to set on fire or trail through the dip (you can also see my moonstone ring)

@alliancesjr: @cleolinda This makes me think of pre-1960 attitudes towards women and body parts. One of these days you're going to show us an *gasp* ANKLE

@cleolinda: @alliancesjr http://twitpic.com/uvgzt  

@queenanthai: @cleolinda You HOOR.

Lucy at the party

What I got at the swap:




The little china cup is actually a strainer that goes in the large cup; that's a wooden spoon sitting in it. The three teas are jasmine, green, and black, and there are little compartments in the box for the teas and the metal strainer. All of this is pleasing to me, particularly since I've been drinking my tea out of a coffee mug.

And for those who asked about "movie that will be made of certain book I was buying," I gave Pride and Prejudice and Zombies (movie version to star Natalie Portman), plus a guide to zombie survival.

Very tired--like, "sleepy" tired, not "verge of a nervous breakdown" tired. Maybe it's just because there's been a lot of holiday-related running-around lately, which is fun. And I've been eating out more, which means I'm drinking soda, which means I'm getting more caffeine than I should, which means I'm not sleeping very well at night. All I know is, a friend called yesterday and thought something was seriously wrong, because I sounded completely out of it. I woke up a bit late and didn't take my meds on time this morning, so now I have a headache, etc., which I'm hoping will go away by the time I go out to the Christmas swap party tonight. Speaking of which, I am still trying to find my boots (just short black boots to wear under my jeans, nothing huge), because I would really like to wear those. Also, I have very nearly talked myself into wearing a dark blue top with crocheted sleeves that are a bit... princessy. Eh, I will claim they are "festive."

First, a few Avatar links, since that's what the last entry was about. And thanks for such a civil and thoughtful discussion over on the Avatar entry. It took 360 comments for someone hostile to finally show up and inform me that I am a prejudiced, touchy-feely liberal. After the all-time high of cleoloindaisgay, this was a fairly disappointing flame.

James Cameron Reveals His Quest to Build More Perfect CGI Boobs. Unfortunately, I read this before I saw the movie, so I spent the whole thing staring at Neytiri's goods, curious to see if such a paradox as a CGI nip slip could possibly occur. 

EW on Avatar: Does story matter? "Titanic is Shakespeare compared to Avatar." ICE BURRRRRRN.

James Cameron Planning 'Avatar' Trilogy, Director Tells MTV News. Yeah, I told you.

‘Avatar’ could get nine Oscar nominations. I don't know if I'm just more mature mellow as a person now than I was circa Titanic, but I think I would manage not to claw my eyes out if it won something huge. I don't know--maybe my Zoe Saldana love is helping me hold on.

The "Moff's Law" link going around: RT @ebertchicago To people who say "Just enjoy! Don't analyze!" This speaks eloquently for me: http://j.mp/4XAkBR.

Meanwhile (alert alert alert): today's 50% off sale at Aromaleigh is the Eye Lustres section ( Quick reviews of the ones I like )

Speaking of color: Colorstrology. Something about birthdays and colors and Pantone sponsorship, I don't know, but it's interesting. December's color is Pagoda Blue, and the 14th turned out to be Green-Blue Slate: "Complex, quick-witted, expressive." "You are expressive and funny and people like it when you entertain them" in particular made me laugh. DANCE, HUMOR MONKEY!


Speaking of which, I am so behind on Secret Life. Oh God. The Christmas/catchup installment looks like it's going to be in three parts now. Dammit.

So as the year draws to a close, I thought I might talk about the television I have watched during it, and hear about other people's television. I have noticed that my year's viewing has a common theme - one of my favourite themes. Sensible Girls, and the Romantic Boys Who Love Them.

One thing I watched was the second season of Merlin. I have written up my thoughts on season one Merlin here.

MERLIN SEASON TWO

ARTHUR: My new contract states I must be shirtless at least once an episode.
GWEN: Now I am going to be a love interest, I am looking extremely foxy in several new gowns. I am never shirtless, because this is the BBC.
MERLIN: Nobody fed me over the summer, and I am feeling weak.
MORGANA: Nobody gave me any lines for the upcoming season, and I am feeling evil.

( Merlin Season Two, continued )

Since I am devoted to L.J. Smith, who at sixteen was my Twilight, I was certain to watch The Vampire Diaries. I saw the pilot at Comic Con, and was hugely delighted to see that the hero and heroine wrote their sad, sad diaries sadly in sync.

Then I saw more, and I have been most excellently pleased by it!

( Vampire Diaries so far )

My flatmates and I bought the box set of Bones and watched it together, drinking cups of hot chocolate with ice-cream in them.

SARAH: I dunno. I love Partners Who Fight Crime an awful lot, but I'm just not sure I can take FBI Agent Angel.
DR BRENNAN: I am a lady who would rather poke around in human soup with bones floating in it than think about her feelings! Also I enjoy casual relationships and am bad at being charming.
FBI AGENT ANGEL: I am pretty good at being charming, and I am in touch with my feelings. I am not as smart as you but I am totally comfortable with not being a crazy genius!
DR BRENNAN AND FBI AGENT ANGEL: Together we goofily fight crime.
SARAH: The truest loves are found through goofily fighting crime. NEXT BOX SET PLEASE.

In summary, I love Sensible Girls and the Romantic Boys Who Love Them. I also love things that are kind of ridiculous. What kind of thing do you love?

So I just saw Planet of the Cat People (P.S. They're Blue) in 3-D, and then Brett the Vet and I went out for Moe's. (They have a whole salsa bar!) Short version: A large portion of my readership is going to kick my ass.

Long version: ( MASSIVE SPOILERS )


ETA: What the HELL? Hospital: Actress Brittany Murphy dies at age 32.

Oh my sweet God have mercy. ( I decided that I would rather not go to prison )

By the way, remember this story?

Meanwhile, on the way home from our last excursion of the day, we dropped by my grandmother's to bring her some more ornaments. On the way out, I stopped to play with a--I don't know, I guess you'd call it a banner? It kind of looks like a long flat bell pull? I don't know. She has it hanging on her front door, and it's this tan-colored strip of fabric with little decorated felt Christmas trees, edged with shiny gold rickrack. "I loved this when I was a kid," I told her, shaking it a little so the bells would jingle. "Ruth made that," my grandmother said warmly. "She really liked arts and crafts. She made all of this herself, every bit of it. Even the tassels. She sewed everything on it there--the sequins, the little ornaments, she even put the pearls on the trees. She's dead now."

I managed not to crack up until I got to the car. My mother couldn't understand why I was doubled up in the passenger seat crying with laughter. I'm not sure I understand it myself.

This year, I got pictures of it:




And now, I flop.

P.S. I still want a foot massage really, really badly.



(Zomg e-book! The Annotated Movies in Fifteen Minutes: Wizards!)

So. Tired in a very lazy, self-indulgent way. I don't know if it's the holidays or the birthdays or what, but I've got to get over this dragginess--however pleasant it might be at the moment--at some point. I am, however, going to see Avatar on Sunday, and am working on some kind of zen meditation to rope off my EXTREME WEARINESS of the hype I've been hearing for an actual, literal year about how this will CHANGE THE WAY MOVIES ARE MADE. I don't know which way they mean, but if involves 3-D becoming the standard movie format I'm going to be pissed off, because it gives me headaches like whoa, and keep in mind that I have to balance those damn glasses on top of my real ones. I'm afraid to ask what other ways they might mean, because so far, "Huge effects spectacle with an overly familiar story and clichéd dialogue," "The nation divided into warring tribes of Fanboys and Haters," and "Would you like fries with your topless Neytiri figure?" kind of seem like business as usual.

@cleolinda: RT @flickchart: Director Michael Mann said of AVATAR: "There's before this movie, and after this movie."

@cleolinda: RT @flickchart: Spielberg quoted on AVATAR: "The last time I came out of a movie feeling that way was the first time I saw Star Wars."

@cleolinda: People, you realize now that I'm not going to be impressed unless Avatar delivers orgasms AND hot fudge sundaes. Knock it off.

@cleolinda: @jamevph The only thing more obnoxious than the hype would be if the movie actually turned out to be that good.

@cleolinda: @gorgeousnerd Oh, I mean, I'm going on Sunday, and I'm going to try to be zen about it and set all of that aside.

@cleolinda: Although I do wonder--"Doomed romance on the Titanic" is an easy sell. "Giant blue cat people do... something," I don't know.

@cleolinda: It could be the Second Coming, but I don't know how well it might actually do. Interesting to see how it shakes out.

@lilithsaintcrow: @cleolinda "Giant blue cat-love on the doomed Titanic! It's a sure thing!"

@cleolinda: @lilithsaintcrow Aw, man, giant blue cat-love screeching in the back of a Model T, do not want.

Then, from gfrancie: I Hate James Cameron, but I Love His Movies. Yeah... that's probably going to be me Sunday afternoon, after I recover from my 3-D headache. I will hate myself for liking it after being battered with hype for TWELVE SOLID MONTHS, but I also feel like it's intellectually dishonest to blindly hate something just for the sake of hating it. Meanwhile, I don't even know if there will be anything Not to Be Spoken Of, but I wouldn't count on it. Also, I'm still not sure if The Lovely Emily and her husband were kidding about painting their faces blue or not.



(Zomg e-book! The Annotated Movies in Fifteen Minutes: Wizards!)

I would be remiss in my author-ly duties if I did not point out to you that I was asked to do a Christmas post on some of my favourite things in one of my favourite book blogs, and that post is here.

I show myself to be a person of pretty low moral character, willing to commit murder for Megan Whalen Turner and everything.

I also talk about some of my favourite books of the past year and some in the year to come, and discuss the issue of reading books by people you know, which is something that happens more and more often when you do the writer thing.

You meet people! As for instance this small interlude in a cafe the summer before last.

CASSIE: Hi everyone, Sarah's turned up again, oh cupcakes. Sarah, have you met Maureen Johnson?
SARAH: ... Maureen Johnson...
CASSIE: Do you need me to open that bottle for you?
SARAH: ... Maureen Johnson...
MAUREEN: Um. Hi.
SARAH: *hearts in eyes*
MAUREEN: How're you doing?
SARAH: YOU DAZZLE ME.

I like Maureen's books a lot, okay? As you can see from this small bit of conversation, I am always super smooth when I meet awesome people. (There is one Famous and Acclaimed Author I hit in the head with a breakfast pastry. But I will never reveal which one! NEVER.)

But anyway, yes, reading books by people you know - scary, yet reassuring, sometimes like having a conversation with your friend. Sometimes like being DAZZLED by your friend! It is complicated.

Speaking of conversations with one's friends, I was having an interesting one with Justine Larbalestier yesterday.

Now we all know about fictional couples who we want to get together in books. (Mary and Colin from The Secret Garden got married when they grew up. Yes they did. It is a truth! A truth of my heart.)

But what about fictional couples who get together and who we don't believe in? Who you look at together and go 'Nah... it'll never last.' I've got to say, for me Jane Eyre and Rochester, they are going to break up. (Well, probably not given the time they were in, but I don't think they're going to be happy. Because they have a lot of chemistry, but Rochester is a crazy liar, y'all.)

ROCHESTER: Gosh, I have a crazy wife hidden in the attic who occasionally breaks out and sets fires. And I'd like to bigamously marry my governess. You know what this situation needs?
AUDIENCE: ... what?
ROCHESTER: MORE COMPLICATIONS! I think I'll have a house party and have a fake engagement to a third lady. AS WELL as the secret crazy wife. And the bigamous marriage.
AUDIENCE: ... what?
ROCHESTER: You're RIGHT! I'm not giving this a hundred per cent! What if I dress up as a gypsy woman and tell fake fortunes?

I'm just saying, Jane will come home one day and Rochester will have sold the children to pirates.

Justine believes in even fewer couples than I do. Which fictional couples do you guys think are doomed never to last?

It has been in some respects a tough year (though in other respects a truly marvellous and spiffy and amazing year) so I admit I have had a few thoughts about ringing in the changes in some sort of new and excellent way. So I have this page open which lists awesome cheap flights at all times. But, you know, I secretly knew that I was going to be home for New Year's because I hadn't made any proper plans yet.

Then yesterday I saw amazingly inexpensive flights to Boston. But I didn't really plan to go. I planned to consult with sensible friends.

PLANNED CONVERSATION!

SARAH: Should I go to Boston?
HOLLY: No, that seems unwise.
SARAH: You are right, what was I thinking? I am such a ninnyhammer.

ACTUAL CONVERSATION!

SARAH: Should I go to Boston?
HOLLY: Yes, good idea!
SARAH: Can I come see you as well?
HOLLY: Yes, I am very valiant and can put up with you! Bring a mask.
SARAH: ... Why?
HOLLY: I cannot reveal that at this time.
SARAH: WOW I SEEM TO BE ACTUALLY GOING TO BOSTON? I wonder what I will do there! Perhaps I will have an adventure?

I think I will have an adventure, you guys.

I have never been to Boston before! I am going to take notes on it for Secret Reasons. Can you, oh wise internet, tell me awesome things to do in Boston?

So my lovely people, I hope you are having an awesome run-up to Christmas! I also hope you will tell me awesome things to do in Boston, tell me about fictional couples you think are doomed, and most of all that you will like the Extra Christmas Bonus Excerpt of Demon's Covenant in my BookSmugglers post. (Oh, Nick. Of all the tall dark heroes in the world, you have the distinction of being the least charming of them all...)

First of all: my mother and I are trying to decide on an e-book reader to get for my stepfather. His main problem is visibility--we hit on this as an alternative to large-print books, in that any book can become "large print" if you can adjust the font size. Portability is less of a factor, therefore--if one reader is larger than the other, that might actually be a bonus for us. I hear the Nook is sold out and kind of got crappy reviews along the lines of "Wait for the 2.0 version," but Mom thinks she might be able to get one anyway (she has Ways). On the other hand, the Kindle has a lot of advantages that I am vaguely aware of, but it's also got screwy DRM issues where it won't let you do things with, you know, the files you bought and paid for. So she says it would be nice to be able to have the e-books on the reader and the computer, DRM issues would be really frustrating, etc. So 1) ease of use and visibility for someone who is not a tech-head and 2) minimal DRM foolery, those are our main criteria. I know nothing about e-readers, except that I have the Stanza app on the iBella and don't ever use it. Thoughts? Suggestions?

Second: padawansguide needs a new host for her site, the movie-focused The Costumer's Guide (where I had tons of fun a couple of years ago trying to help identify all 60+ Marie Antoinette costumes. Good times); in particular, she says, "I would like at least 5-10 GB of disk space and at least 150 or more GB of bandwidth a month. With no weird [usage] caps they don't tell you about!" We discuss a couple of options at that first link, if you have any ideas.

Third, and not a question: New trailer for Iron Man 2.


(Zomg e-book! The Annotated Movies in Fifteen Minutes: Wizards!)

Bear with me as I lead into this, because I have some philosophical ramblings about beauty products that guys (i.e., people who do not wear makeup and may not understand the appeal of cosmetics) may find interesting.

So. I have gift cards to Sephora, and also a promotional code from their newsletter that expires today, and then three free mini lip glosses as a birthday promotion, therefore: it's economy-boosting time. My on-and-off obsession with makeup, as previously documented here, is somewhat peculiar, given that I wear very little of it. I mean, number one: I don't leave the house much. I have sensitive problem skin, so there doesn't seem to be any point in irritating it with the constant application and removal of makeup that no one's going to see, you know? What I really love is trying out different colors, because if I wear anything, it tends to be eyeshadow and lip gloss--I really need to wear foundation and concealer, but honestly, when I do, all I look like is someone very obviously wearing foundation and concealer, so I figure the flawed natural look is preferable at that point, and I'll just have fun with my favorite eyeshadow palettes (Hard Candy's Suede and Star). Hence the recent fixation on Aromaleigh, because the samples are so cheap that I can play all I want, and I'm hearing from other patrons that their face powders do a really good job of blending and disappearing, so I'm going to get samples of those and see if I can finally achieve the no-makeup makeup look ("Like you, only better!").

As for why girls--some girls--get so obsessed with makeup, even someone like me who rarely wears it, I can tell you very simply: ( Yes, but it's a badass lavender )


(Zomg e-book! The Annotated Movies in Fifteen Minutes: Wizards!)

You will have to excuse me, you guys. It feels weird and awesome to have a cover for The Demon's Covenant to show you all. The new book, my brain is rejoicing. I get to have more than one! (My brain can be a little slow.)

Anyway, so: this is the UK cover for The Demon's Covenant. And I love eeet.

My publishers are so good, y'all. Because they are very kind to me, and because my UK covers are drawn and not photographic, I kept emailing them and saying 'Oh, could we have - could we change - could we fix-' and now I have this cover and they did not hire ninja assassins to come kill me with poison darts even once.

The title is going to be SILVER and it's going to be even more beautiful when it is REAL but for now - look, there's my girl! And I love it. I hope you love it too!

( The Demon's Covenant UK Cover )

So. Today. Thirty-one. I was depressed (not about the number itself) and that was stupid but there it is.

(Also, the day started out really crappy. "PUT HIS ASS ON THE PHONE!")

I will say, there is one thing I feel very strongly about on birthdays, and that is: it is very important that you blow out all your candles in one breath, for thus shall you have good luck all the next year! Which is why I get UTTERLY CHAGRINED when people put the same number of candles on the cake as you are years old, because when you're seven that's awesome, but when you're thirty-one, that's just basically a giant NO LUCK FOR YOU. I just don't have the lung capacity to deal with those kind of numbers, people. "Can we just get two candles in the shape of a 3 and a 1?" I asked desperately. So after I explained why I wanted fewer candles, we compromised and just put them on my piece:

( I'M A REBEL )

So it was a quiet day; we had just my grandmother over for lunch rather than any kind of Entire Family thing. I don't know. I'm just getting to be a huge baby about not wanting to do anything for my birthday--what I want to figure out is what I feel so bad about. What is it that I actually want that I'm not getting? I'm throwing myself a giant pity party, but what's the occasion? Because you can't go about fixing a problem, about getting what you want, if you don't know what that is. And I just don't know.

Anyway. I'm still slowly replacing my music collection--I might be able to recover it when I'm sure I can afford to take Betsy into the shop after Christmas shopping is done, but I'm not counting on it--so I went and bought my two favorite Pretenders songs, "Night in My Veins" and "Love Colours." Coincidentally, I got that CD for my--16th birthday? I think that's the one it was. I wore that CD to pieces, which is why I can't rip it to Lizzie now. So, fifteen years later, here we are on iTunes.

Something else I bought on a whim off eBay just happened to arrive today, and I am counting it as a birthday present to myself because it is pretty much the best thing ever. Seriously, I think opening the packet and taking it out was the only thing that made me laugh all day. I paid the princely sum of $13.13 for it, and it will be a long time before I am able to work it into The Secret Life of Dolls, but you will die, all of you will absolutely die when you see it.


(Zomg e-book! The Annotated Movies in Fifteen Minutes: Wizards!)

So I worry about presents.

I used to worry about presents so much that I had to get them out of the way early. In the July sales, you would see little Sarah with her bowl haircut, solemnly shopping for Christmas presents. Had I waited for winter, I would have gone into a spiral of agony and self-doubt.

Much taller Sarah with much longer hair, i.e. me of the present day, does not have the organisational skills or the storage space to shop for Christmas presents in July. But I do generally spend November and December making anxious calls.

SARAH: Why can't you just tell me what you want! Anything! I'll buy you anything!
MY LITTLE BROTHER SAUL: Oh. Hmm. I'll have a... Well now. Okay. Give me a moment. Maybe-
SARAH: Yes? YES?
SAUL: Maybe I'll have to call you back.
MY LITTLE SISTER GENEVIEVE: But I've told you what I want. I keep telling you what I want.
SARAH: No, you haven't.
GENEVIEVE: I want a Team Jacob hoodie.
SARAH: I don't know why I keep forgetting that.
GENEVIEVE: If it's because you're Team Edward, you are NOT WELCOME HOME this Christmas.

My sister the ingrate aside, I had a much more important present to give out this year.

Obviously, all those who have read my book are my most favourite people in the world. This only makes sense. My most favourite people in the world deserve presents. Also very logical!

However I cannot find them all and ask for their addresses. So clearly a story present, then.

But! I worried to myself. When would be a good time to give them the story present? Obviously not on Christmas Day, as people would have better things to do than reading internet presents, like unwrapping their real presents and going 'A titanium suit of armour with inbuilt time-travel device! Awesome!' So I asked twitter, and they seemed to feel the thirteenth was a good day.

Today is the thirteenth.

So, this is a present for those who have already read The Demon's Lexicon: it is set eleven years before the book, but there are hints of things to come. So if someone hasn't read the book and hates spoilers, probably best to avoid. If one doesn't mind them and is minded to try the story (with a view to later reading The Demon's Lexicon and thus achieving the status of one of my most favourite people in the world) then they may go right ahead!

Should you guys like it, spread it 'round: I would like everyone who might enjoy it to read it, so my present reaches all those who want it.

And in Christmas and Demon's Lexicon news, people in the UK might be interested to know there is a Demon's Lexicon fan meet-up in London going on. I won't be there, but I will be sending presents!

For now, though, this present is for everyone.

And it comes with an illustration: the illustration is done by Entropy_Incarnate and not specifically for this story, but it does show the main characters as kids and thus I feel is appropriate!

( Tiny Baby Cuteness! With Knives )

This one's for my most favourite people in the world. I very much hope you enjoy it.

Nick's First Word: A Christmas Story.